Thursday, April 10, 2008

If you can't due the time then don't do the crime!

I got one of the few rare phone calls from Charlie's teacher this morning. She was reporting in that Charlie was crying for the first time since school began. WHAT??!!! This is the same kid that cries before noon on most days and whose wails are unrelenting? Wow - I think was my response - how did they accomplish a feat that I rank up there with winning a gymnastics gold in Bejing. She reported that he was crying because he was put in the cube chair to sit by himself for a few minutes ... "Oh" I replied back ... now it making sense, "He always cries during time-outs. What's the crime?" "Well, I guess it was kind of a time-out (side note to the empty nesters - even time-outs are becoming taboo these days). We were making cupcakes today for snack time ... measuring, mixing, combining ingredients. Charlie got a hold of the beaters ... I'm so sorry .... I know that he's on a dairy-free diet. He got to licking and wouldn't put it down." Wow - I thought ... this was Charlie's first time-out for the WHOLE year at school! Are they drugging him when he gets there? "Anyways, we just wanted to let you know because he just had a hard time calming himself down". "AH" I retorted and in my mind I was thinking ... Did he cry for 45 minutes straight like at home ... with a few extra dramatic points ... arms flailing, toys thrown, full out on the floor ... this kid is set for an Oscar! "We were able to calm him down in a few minutes when we brought out the spring toy box for him to look at". Oh my goodness ... Charlie's hit the mother-load today was my first thought - he's so damn smart. We ended our conversation on a shared chuckle about who couldn't control themselves over a beater full of chocolate.
So as I'm waiting for his bus to pull up at the end of our driveway ... I'm imagining the crime scene at school. Charlie backed into a corner, mouth smeared with chocolate, crazed look in his eyes, "Don't come any closer I'm telling you. I have a beater and I'm not afraid to launch it."
The bus pulls up. I get on to get Charlie off and he immediately begins to cry. "Busdriver Dave, has Charlie been crying since you left school?" "No I think it just started when you got on the bus. But ya know ... I could be wrong ... I just tune it all out" Poor Busdriver Dave ... not a great way to spend retirement years.
Mom: Charlie, what's wrong?
Charlie: sob I had to sit in the cube chair by myself. sob
Mom: Why was that Charlie?
Charlie: sob Because I was sob crying.
Mom: Why were you in the chair and crying?
Charlie: big sob Because I licked chocolate.
Mom: Well Charlie ... don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
Charlie: sob I had a bad day.

That's when the Dave Powter "bad day" song - immortalized on American Idol - began playing in my head and it hasn't left me since.

1 comment:

T.T.J.K.B. said...

Please dont tell me that time outs are now taboo. Yikes, we are in trouble. What about lockign your kids in their room...hmmm... I am going to hell...